We can be remarkably good at continuing to function. We work. We care for people. We meet deadlines. We accomplish things. Sometimes we even excel. And from the outside, and often from the inside, that functioning can look like evidence that we have the capacity to keep going. But productivity is not evidence of capacity.

When something in us, or in someone we’re working with, is causing distress, it’s natural to want to change it. We may call it a pattern, a symptom, a block, a limiting belief – or simply a problem. But what if we widen the lens? What if some of what we’re trying to change begins

For almost 40 years, I’ve been interested in a question: What are we missing? I’ve asked it through psychotherapy, coaching, neuroscience, energy psychology and EFT. And more than once, I’ve thought I’d finally found the missing piece. These days, I’m much less interested in finding the final answer. I’m more interested in asking: What else

What if feeling something deeply doesn’t mean we need to change it? When emotion becomes intense, it can be natural to assume that something needs our attention. That we need to regulate it, soften it, understand it or somehow help ourselves feel differently. But intensity alone doesn’t necessarily tell us what our living system needs.

Have you ever noticed an old response returning and immediately thought: Seriously? Is this still here? Maybe you become anxious in a familiar situation. You over-function. You shut down. You begin trying to please everyone, prove yourself, or get everything exactly right. And sometimes the hardest part isn’t even the response itself. It’s what comes