Emily, one of our thoughtful and committed HARNESS certification candidates, recently brought a question to me that I think will resonate with many of you — especially if you’re navigating those tender, transformative moments with clients.
“A new client wants to work on befriending a ‘dark version’ of themselves. Should I start with our Conscious EFT Compassion Protocol right away, or should I first explore how this part is showing up at a specific moment?”
This thoughtful question reveals a deeper awareness: that even our most powerful protocols must be offered in a way that honours each client’s unique readiness.
This is a critical concept in Conscious EFT – often missing in traditional approaches.t capacity to process information, feel emotions, and engage with their own healing in a safe manner. In Conscious EFT, our primary task as practitioners is to assess the extent of their capacity to process information, feel emotions, and engage with their own healing in a safe manner.
Assessing the Client’s Capacity
This assessment begins in the consult call, where we attune not only to the content of the client’s presenting issue but, just as importantly, to who they are, and how they present themselves as they discuss it. We must determine if they actually have the capacity to safely engage in the growth required to achieve their desired outcome.
“Attunement isn’t a step in the process – it is the process.”
For example, if a client is presenting themselves as left on NeftTi’s CCC (Client Capacity Continuum), they may share their issue in a way that feels more detached or analytical. They might say something like:
“I know I have this ‘dark version of myself,’ but I can’t really identify how it’s affecting me in my daily life. I just feel like something is off.”
Here, the client has some awareness but is not yet in touch with the body charge around it or how it is specifically impacting current life. In this case, we might start with interventions designed to gently hold space for the suffering, allowing the nervous system to feel safe before exploring the issue further.
On the other hand, if the client is in the mid-section of the CCC, they may present in a more holistic and self-aware way, such as:
“I feel completely overwhelmed by this part of me. It’s like I’m constantly battling this version of myself, and it keeps me from feeling at peace. I’ve been working on accepting it, but it’s hard to know where to start.”
Here, there’s a deeper level of integrated engagement with the issue, and the client may be more prepared for deeper exploration.
Curiosity About Motivation and Meaning
Once we have a sense of how the client is presenting, we can begin to assess their motivation and the meaning they attach to the healing process. Curiosity is our best tool here — asking questions that give us deeper insight into their true intentions and emotional investment.
Sample questions to explore motivation and meaning might include:
- “Dear client, how are you expecting your life will change once you’ve successfully befriended this ‘dark’ version of yourself?”
- “What does healing this part of yourself mean to you personally? What are the specific shifts you hope to see in your daily life?”
The clearer and more specific their answers are, the greater the indication that their nervous system is ready to process and engage with the work. The more we understand about the client’s motivations, the better equipped we are to meet them at their edge.
Applying the Right Techniques Based on Capacity
Once we’ve assessed the client’s capacity to engage, we then choose the appropriate techniques based on where they are in the process.
If we sense that the client has limited capacity — meaning they are not fully prepared to dive into deep healing work—we would use Conscious EFT’s gentle “Holding the Suffering” techniques. These techniques prioritize safety, allowing the client’s nervous system to regulate and build a foundation of trust before they are asked to engage with difficult material.
On the other hand, if the client has greater capacity — meaning they’re able to engage with their emotions and provide specific examples of when their “dark” version showed up in recent experiences — we can then move into the “Exploring the Pyramid” repertoire. This involves more specific interventions that support deeper exploration of the parts of the client that they may feel disconnected from or ashamed of.
For example, we might ask:
“Can you give me the most recent example of when this ‘dark’ version of yourself was activated? What was happening for you at that moment?”
If the client is able to provide a specific example and engage in the process, we can use Conscious EFT techniques to help them process that moment and begin to shift the energy around it.
However, if the client struggles to recall a specific moment or if attempting to do so feels overwhelming, we would return to gentle techniques to bring them back to a state of safety before continuing.
Remember, the Focus is on Today’s Client
It’s essential to keep in mind that, as practitioners, we are always working with the client’s relationship to the “dark” version of themselves in the present moment, not the past. Even the very term “dark” suggests that there may be contempt, fear, or resistance around this part of themselves. These feelings need to be cleared before the profound healing of the Compassion Protocol can truly have its impact.
“Befriending the dark begins with compassion, not confrontation.
Safety first, always.”
Our primary job as practitioners is to attune to the client’s nervous system in the here and now — offering interventions that best meet their current needs, whether that be creating safety first or supporting growth and transformation.
Offering Your Very Best Service
Think of a recent client session.
- Where would you place your client on the Client Capacity Continuum?
- Where would you place yourself on the CCC?
- What signs in their language, body, or energy gave you clues?
- What technique did you choose, and how did it support their sense of safety or growth?
The underlying question here is how we, as practitioners, can provide the very best to our clients. The answer is simple: attune to their nervous system and meet them where they are, moment by moment. By assessing their current capacity, engaging with curiosity, and using the appropriate Conscious EFT techniques for their unique state, we ensure that we are always offering the very best support possible.
You don’t need to have all the answers in advance. Your presence, attunement, and willingness to meet your client with compassion are enough. The nervous system knows when it is being met with care — and that’s where healing begins.
It’s moments like this — when a practitioner like Emily brings such thoughtful, attuned questions — that remind me why I love this work so deeply. Supporting and mentoring aspiring Conscious EFT practitioners as they grow in skill, confidence, and heart is not just a privilege — it’s a profound joy.
If you’re feeling called to deepen your own capacity to offer this kind of attuned, transformational support — or if questions like Emily’s spark something in you — I’d love to support your evolution. DISCOVER is our foundational course and the best place to start integrating Conscious EFT into your current client work, and for yourself! Our cohorts begin several times a year, learn more and secure your seat for DISCOVER Conscious EFT now.
